The search for excellence in the corporation in which we are integrated leads us to do everything and a little more than that work demands. We often forget to look at what comes before the work, but which guarantee its success, the human relationships.
Much of what we accomplish depends on building relationships and trusting our colleagues. And when we take the time to connect and understand each other, we position ourselves for success.
Having the trust of your colleagues is the foundation of success in any workplace. Without it, your colleagues may hesitate to support your ideas and back you. Trust - or the lack of it - can mean the difference between achieving your goals and failing.
MZNews turned to five ideas from a former CIA intelligence analyst to help us be good people before we are good employees. With these tips from Christina Hillsberg we can connect and build trust with our co-workers.
Find ways to feel well balanced
In order to have subjects in which you can relate to others, you need to have your own interests and hobbies. Is there something you have always wanted to learn? There are endless opportunities to acquire new skills from people all over the world, without even leaving home. You can enjoy a wine tasting in your home with a famous master sommelier through the MasterClass. You can also learn to knit with TikTok, or connect with other book lovers through a virtual book club.
Do you already have a hobby that you let fall by the wayside due to the hustle and bustle of life? Finding time for interests outside of work can become difficult when we find ourselves overwhelmed with careers and responsibilities at home. Consider setting aside free time in your calendar each week for your new skill or hobby. Remember, you don't have to become an expert at everything you try. Having any amount of experience in a variety of topics, can give you material to use when searching and connecting with others.
Don't pretend to be something you are not
Attempts by CIA officers to connect with someone driven by false common interests often fail, so will their attempts to build trust if it is not authentic. Try to find a shared topic that you are truly interested in. If you can't find a way to connect with someone, consider learning more about one of their interests. Do this only if it is something you really want to learn about. For example, say that your new colleague is a wine expert. Instead of buying a book on wine right away - or signing up for a course - in the hopes of posing as a fellow expert, consider expressing your interest in learning more. Putting yourself in the role of student and the other person in the role of teacher can be a great way to build trust in a much more genuine way.
Be a Good Listener
When you're building a relationship with someone, people generally like to talk about themselves and their own interests. It's okay to talk about yourself - and you will have to - but do it in a way that keeps the conversation moving and encourages them to share more. If you know that you are naturally a very talkative person who likes to be in the spotlight, be sure to pass the microphone to someone else.
While sharing a similar story can create a connection, keep in mind that sometimes it is more important to play the role of listener. For example, if someone shares about their vacation, and it's a destination you've been to, resist the urge to talk about your own travel stories. If they ask if you have been there, you should tell the truth, but then diplomatically put the ball back in their court. Depending on how they respond, you may be able to find ways to connect with shared experiences.
Give to receive
In order to get people to talk, it is sometimes necessary to give some information about yourself first. This is in order to make them comfortable sharing details about themselves. This is also a technique that the CIA teaches in training to help operations officers learn how to build relationships and develop their clandestine relationships with intelligence targets. This can be just as important in business.
If there is specific information you hope someone will confide in you, strike up a conversation by sharing something similar in their life that will ideally trigger them to share and open up about the topic you are interested in.For example, if you are waiting for a colleague to open up about a stressful situation at work, you might share a recent story of something you went through that was similar to getting the other person to engage.
Whether you are trying to find a compromise in negotiations or simply trying to break the ice with a colleague, "give to get" can be an easy way to encourage someone to open up, forming the basis for a trusting relationship.
Take notes
Just as CIA operations officers write up their meetings afterwards, consider making notes about the things you learned about someone after your meeting so you can remember to follow up in your next conversation. I am not suggesting that you write down any classified information about someone, but rather, small details about their life that you may not remember once your own life takes over. For example, if a colleague mentions that they are training for a marathon, write that down so that the next time you see them, you can follow up and ask how they are running. If they share with you how many children they have and their names, write them down as well. People feel special when they remember details they have told you about their life, and even more so when you follow up with them.
Retain this:
The ability to build trust with your colleagues is only one aspect of gaining support for your ideas, but when we use these CIA-inspired techniques, we are laying the foundation for achieving our professional goals. Much of what we accomplish in the workplace depends on building relationships and trust with our colleagues, and when we strive to connect and understand each other, we are positioning ourselves for success.